Boy, why are you crying?
Because I couldn't get my shadow to stick.
Besides, I wasn't crying.
I shall sew it on for you, my little man.
I shall sew it on for you, my little man. It may hurt a little.
What's your name?
Wendy Moira Angela Darling.
-What's yours? -Peter Pan.
Watch your daughter. She's wonderful.
She's stealing the show.
I think it's perfectly sweet of you.
Louder!
I think it's perfectly sweet of you.
I shall give you a kiss if you like.
Don't you know what a kiss is?
I shall, once you give one to me.
Now I shall give you a kiss.
I don't ever wanna become a man.
I always wanna be a little boy and have fun.
{y:i}We wanna be like Peter Pan {y:i}We don't wanna grow up
Brad.
Yeah, I'm at my daughter's play.
It's impossible. I'm on a plane to London tomorrow night with my family.
A children's hospital is dedicating an entire wing to Granny Wendy.
Brad....
Peter, you're missing it.
All right. I want a meeting, tomorrow a.m.
Dad, my game! You promised.
Listen, it's my son's big game.
Last game of the season. Santa Series. I gotta be there. I promised.
We'll make it short.
I'll be there. My word is my bond.
{y:i}We never, never, never {y:i}Never, never, never, never
{y:i}Never, never, ever wanna grow up
Strike three! You're out.
Bluejays, come on!
Jack! Come on, Bluejays!
Bluejays!
Fire it up!
Where is your father? He's missing it.
Daddy'll be here. He promised.
Jerry? Jack?
-Jim. -I said that.
Go to the game ahead of me. Film what I miss.
This is the speech for your grandmother's tribute.
-On cards? -Yes.
-Number those. Who wrote it? -Ned Miller.
I loved his annual report. Read it.
"For the past 70 years, the Granny Wendy we honour tonight...
...has given hope and care and life to hundreds of orphans."
Great.
Mommy, where's Daddy?
My briefcase.
Gotta fly.
Don't worry. More people crash in cars.
It's a lot safer to fly than crossing the street.
If it's your time to go, it's your time to go.
And remember, don't let your arms get tired!
What if it's the pilot's time to go?
Come on, keep us alive, Banning! Keep us alive!
Okay, come on!
Hi, Mrs. Banning. I'm from the office. Which one's your son?
-He's up to bat! -Thank you!
Come on, Jack!
Come on, pal!
Come on, Jack!
Don't look at me! Focus!
Stay focused! Come on, Jack. One time, Jack.
Come on, Jack! Come on, Jack!
Please, not a curve ball.
Mama wants a new pair of shoes. Drive me home, Jack!
That's the game!
Yeah, Brad, that's real good.
{y:i}Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, {y:i}your captain again.
{y:i}Please do not allow this minor {y:i}turbulence to disturb you.
{y:i}For now, please sit back, relax. {y:i}Enjoy the remainder of the flight.
{y:i}Thank you.
Look what Jack drew!
That's very nice, dear.
What's that?
Fire.
Fire! Really?
Is that our plane?
Who are these people?
That's Jack, that's me, that's Mom...
...and that's you.
Where's my parachute?
-I won't make it to my birthday. -You won't die without a phone.
I got the phone in the briefcase.
Talk to him.
Why didn't I have a parachute, Jackie?
Take a wild guess.
-Jackie! -Jack.
Will you stop? You can break a window.
They're layered. You can't break them.
Give me that.
You're afraid you'll get sucked out.
I'm not afraid.
Yes, you are. You're afraid you'll be sucked out.
Just stop.
Jack, next season, I'm coming to six games. I promise.
Yeah, be sure to buy enough videotape.
My word is my bond.
Yeah, junk bond!
When are you gonna stop acting like a child?
I am a child.
Grow up.
{y:i}It's been a long time.
{y:i}Let's have fun, Peter.
London's a magical place for children.
-It was for us. -And expensive.
Jack, don't do that. You could put someone's eye out.
Maggie. Maggie.
Peter, it's number 14.
Sorry.
What do you say to Granny Wendy?
-"How do you do?" -Jack, get down!
Be careful.
Is Granny Wendy the real, real Wendy from my play?
No, not really.
Sort of.
Don't be a sloucher. Take that gum out of your mouth.
It's time to look our best. First impressions are the most important.
Shoes tied. Shirt tucked.
You know this.
Remember, you're in England, land of good manners.
Uncle Tootles.
It's snowing!
Look at these adorable children!
It's good to see you, Libby-- Linda-- Lisa--
-Liza. -I said that.
Oh, Moira, how are you? You look wonderful!
Oh, my God!
Look at the size--
Look at you! Such a sweet thing!
-Granny Wendy will be right down. -She's upstairs? Oh, good.
-Big boy! You could play rugby. -No, baseball.
Oh, look.
-Did you do this for us? -We've been cooking all week.
You've been cooking? What've you been cooking? Mince pies?
Peter, look at this. Look at this.
-Who's that? -It's you.
Was I ever that young?
-What's gotten into you? -This house has gotten to me.
Some of those things I was when I was young have never left me.
Oh, thank God! We were children in these rooms.
Lost, lost, lost.
Lost what?
I've lost my marbles.
Lisa?
Liza.
-He was supposed to be in a home. -It broke Wendy's heart.
Tootles is Wendy's first orphan. Which is which?
Large bag's mine, and the smaller ones are the children's.
Hello, boy.
Hello, Wendy.
I told you, Gran, I'd get him here, by hook or by crook.
I'm sorry it's been so long between visits.
It's been 10 years between visits. But never mind.
Come and give me a skwoodge.
Oh, Moira, Moira, Moira!
Who is this lovely lady?
It can't be Maggie.
Yes, it can. And know what? I just played you at school.
And don't you just look the part.
Can this giant be Jack? How much you've grown in a year!
I'm supposed to tell you about...
...congratulations for opening the orphan hospital...
...and how great the dedication is.
-Thank you so very much. -Welcome.
Now, there is one rule I insist be obeyed while you are in my house:
No growing up.
Stop this very instant.
And that includes you, Mr. Chairman-of-the-Board Banning.
Sorry, too late, Gran.
And what's so terribly important about your terribly important business?
You see, when a big company's in trouble...
...Dad sails in, and if there's any resistance--
He's exaggerating. I'm still into mergers and acquisitions.
And I'm dabbling in some land development.
Any resistance and he blows them out of the water.
So!
Peter, you've become a pirate!
Brad's on the line. He says it's urgent!
Do you like my dress?
Great, Gran.
Thanks.
Hey, Brad. Good news?
What?
What Sierra Club report? I thought we had these guys.
He's trying to suck my blood! He drools all over my neck.
What did they find?
-That's a portable phone-- -A Cozy Blue Owl?
Well, listen.
Ask them if anybody misses the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Oh, well, I do! Boy, do I ever! Wow, you kidding?
Wait a minute.
You telling me a 10-inch owl has a 50-mile mating radius?
Why don't they just fornicate someplace else?
You're telling me a 5-billion-dollar deal is falling apart because of this?
Somebody shoot me in the head!
Bang! Bang!
Will everybody just shut up!
I'm sorry.
Leave me alone for one moment!
Get them out of here! I'm on the phone call of my life!
Come on, Jack. Out, out, out.
Come with me.
I'll show you the window where your dad and I used to blow out the stars.
I should've stayed till the deal was done.
Granny asked you to visit every year.
I've been busy.
You promised the children some real time here. You haven't looked at them once.
-That's not true. -How many more broken promises?
It's Brad, Moira. I gotta take this call.
I gotta fix this.
No, you gotta fix your family first.
{y:i}Peter, hello? Are you there?
What...?
-I'm sorry about your deal. -You hated the deal.
I hated the deal. But I'm sorry you feel so badly about it.
Your children love you.
They want to play with you.
How long do you think that lasts?
Soon Jack may not even want you to come to his games.
We have a few special years with our children...
...when they're the ones that want us around.
Then you'll be running after them for a bit of attention.
It's so fast, Peter.
It's a few years, then it's over.
And you are not being careful.
And you are missing it.
{y:i}Peter, where are you?
{y:i}Peter! Peter! Peter!
"All children, except one, grow up."
Now, you know where faeries come from, don't you, Maggie?
"When the first baby laughed for the first time...
...the laugh broke into a thousand pieces...
...and they all went skipping about.
That was the beginning of faeries."
And look.
I'm Wendy.
Or was, a long time ago.
But Jack says you're not the really " real" Wendy.
Do you see where Jack is?
Well, that's the same window. And this is the same room...
...where we made up stories about Peter, Never Land and scary old Captain Hook.
And do you know, Mr. Barrie, well, Sir James, our neighbour...
...loved our stories so much that he wrote them all down in a book.
Oh, dear me, 80 years ago.
You're really old!
That's very true.
I'm sorry to break this up. I have to steal Granny...
...or she'll be late for the most important event of her life.
Oh, dear.
Daddy, I made something for you. You're gonna love this.
It's a hug. Next time you fly, you won't have to be scared.
She's made you a parachute.
That's very clever, dear.
Get away from there!
What have I told you about playing near open windows? Keep this window closed.
Do we have open windows at home?
No. They've all got bars on them.
Come on. lnto bed.
Who took my baseball?
That mean, scary man at the window stole it.
There's no scary man.
But he says he's a window washer.
What's this?
A baseball glove. You can catch things with it...
...take hot things out of the oven, hit your sister with it.
Tootles made it for me. It smells nice.
It's paper, honey.
Hey, Jack.
Faker.
You're in charge now.
This is my very special watch, so you can keep track of the time.
Don't go out, Mom. Please.
Good night.
Dear night-lights, protect my sleeping babes.
Burn clear and steadfast tonight.
I read recently that they're now using lawyers instead of rats for experiments.
They do this for two reasons:
One, the scientists become less attached to the lawyers.
And two, there are certain things that even rats won't do.
I thank the Board of Trustees of the Ormond Street Hospital...
...for having me here this evening...
...and beg your forgiveness because normally I address shareholders.
We don't know each other, and I doubt that we have very much in common...
...except this wonderful woman, Wendy Angela Darling.
Granny Wendy brought me in from the cold.
She taught me to read and write.
She even found people to be my parents and adopt me.
She's loved so many children...
...just so efforlete-- efforse-- effortlessly.
That's her achievement.
Many of you here tonight were once lost children...
...but Granny Wendy found parents and homes for each of you...
...and saved you.
That's her miracle.
I know that if you could stand now, you would express much better than I have...
...your feelings of gratitude...
...appreciation...
...and warm feelings...
...for this wonderful woman.
I guess we do have something in common.
We're orphans.
Hook!
Hook.
Jack....
You all right?
Wendy?
Thank you, Nigel. Norman?
Neville, sir.
Is that English?
Merry Christmas.
I was proud of you.
It was a beautiful speech.
Yes, it was.
Liza?
Tootles?
My God! The children!
Jack! Answer me!
Maggie!
The wind came up. The door closed on me...
...and the children were screaming!
The children were screaming!
The window.
"Dear Peter:
Your presence is required at the request of your children.
Kindest personal regards...
...J.A.S. Hook...
...Captain."
Have to fly. Have to fight.
Have to crow. Have to save Maggie. Have to save Jack.
Hook is back.
Who?
Gran!
Well, the lab boys can analyse this little lot.
We've wired the phones, and two of my lads will be outside at all times.
It's possible that this is some kind of ridiculous prank.
My children are missing.
Yes, but the literary history of the family suggests....
Let's hope--
I've forgotten how to fly.
Yeah, well, one does.
Good night, ma'am. Good night, sir.
No more happy thoughts.
Lost!
-The police will do everything they can. -The police can do nothing.
Really? Maybe we should call the American police.
In a crisis, we English always make a cup of tea.
Moira, would you?
Yes, of course.
Don't forget to warm the pot.
I'll go.
You stay.
Don't worry, Gran Wendy, I wasn't gonna leave.
Hand me my book, please.
It's time to tell you, at last.
Tell me what?
How far back can you remember, Peter?
I remember the hospital on Great Ormond Street.
You worked with orphans.
You arranged for the adoption by my American parents.
You were 12, nearly 13.
I mean, before that.
There's nothing before that.
Try, Peter. Do try.
Nothing.
You know, when I was young...
...no other girl held your favour the way I did.
I expected you to alight on the church and forbid my vows on my wedding day.
I wore a pink satin sash.
But you didn't come.
Grandma?
Yes, I was an old lady when I wrapped you in blankets.
A grandmother.
With my 1 3-year-old granddaughter asleep in the bed.
Moira.
And when you saw her...
...that was when you decided not to go back to Never Land.
Where?
To Never Never Land.
-I'll get Moira. -I've tried to tell you--
-Maybe the tea's ready. -I knew you'd forgotten!
I'm not ready to deal with this now.
The stories are true. I swear to you.
I swear on everything I adore.
And now he's come back to seek his revenge.
The fight isn't over for Captain James Hook.
He wants you back.
He knows you'll follow Maggie and Jack to the ends of the earth.
And, by heaven, you must find a way.
Only you can save your children.
Somehow, you must go back.
You must make yourself remember.
Remember what?
Peter, don't you know who you are?
Yes, boy.
Yes.
Sorry.
Parachute....
Firefly from hell!
Big damn bug!
It is you! It is! A big you!
It's not bad you're big. You were always big.
Maybe this means you'll be twice as much fun.
What fun we'll have again! What times! What great games!
You're a little....
Faerie.
Pixie.
If less is more, there's no end to me, Peter Pan.
-Peter Banning. -Pan.
-Banning. -Pan.
Whoever you are, it's still you.
Because only one person has that smell.
Smell?
The smell of someone who's ridden the wind.
The smell of sleeping in trees. Adventures with lndians and pirates.
Remember? The world was ours! We could do everything or nothing.
I had to be anything because it was always us.
It's happened. I'm having a nervous breakdown.
Follow me and all will be well.
I'm dying. Heading towards the white light. I've left my body.
There's my house down there. There are my feet.
-Where are we going? -To save your children!
-How do you know about my kids? -Everybody knows!
Hook's got them and you've gotta fight him! Let's fly!
It is true, then. You did grow up.
I drank poison for you. You used to call me "Tink."
-Have you forgotten everything? -Are you in there, bug?
I'm not a bug. I'm a faerie.
I do not believe in faeries.
Anytime someone says, "I do not believe in faeries," a faerie falls down dead.
I do not believe in faeries!!
My God, I think I killed it.
Are you alive, little bug? Look out!
Clap your hands, Peter.
It's the only way to save me.
Clap....
Louder.
Louder, Peter!
I'm clapping!
Oh, God, you're alive!
All right. Now, who am l?
You're a Freudian hallucination of my mother.
I don't know why you have wings, but you have lovely legs.
What am I saying? I'm an orphan.
I've never taken drugs. I missed the '60s. I was an accountant.
Guess again!
Look, stars!
That's right, Peter.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning.
Never Land!
What a nightmare!
Roll out! Roll out!
Lovely fish! Fresh fish!
We keep the eyes in so they'll see you through the week!
Excuse me. Is there a pay phone around here?
That is so real.
Peter, get back here!
Get down! Get low!
Hide!
If it ain't the Mother lnferior.
Gentlemen, I'm looking for someone.
I fancy them shiny shoes for my booties.
I think you can get them at Armani.
Tink! Tink! Help!
Don't get no blood on them boots!
They's mine!
Help me! Tinkerbell!
You pixie devil!
Please don't! I have a bad back!
You pixie devil!
Are you related to Mighty Mouse?
If you insist on seeing Hook...
...do exactly what I say.
Your left arm is dead and hangs lifeless at your side.
Lean on the crutch! Left foot turned in.
Tilt your head and glare with your good eye!
Now crack your mouth and drool. Now growl!
Growl!
-How are you? -Not bad, and you?
Not bad!
Put your faces on, girls. Here comes Smee!
Follow that Hook!
Make way for the Hook!
Me mother loves that Hook!
Give us the Hook!
Good morning, Never Land!
Good morning, Mr. Smee!
Tie down the main mast, mateys.
Because here he is! The cunning kingfish!
The brave barracuda!
A man so deep, he's almost unfathomable.
A man so quick, he's even fast asleep!
Thank you!
Let's give him a very big hand...
...because he's only got one.
I give you the steel-handed stingray...
...Captain James Hook!
Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook...!
See how greatly the men favour you, sir?
The pealing spawn. How I despise them!
Go get 'em, captain!
Thank you!
Well, my stupid, sorry, parasitic sacks of entrails....
Revenge is mine.
Long live the Hook!
I baited that Hook and now I'm proud to announce...
...we have his children.
My God! Jack and Maggie.
Finally I'm going to kill Peter Pan...
...that cocky boy who cut off my hand and fed it to the crocodile!
And who killed that cunning crocodile? Who stuffed him?
Who made him into a quiet clock?
Who went to the other world and stole Pan's children?
And who didn't believe I could do it?
Who doubted me?
Who amongst us does not belong?
Someone here does not belong.
Stranger amongst the loyal, I'll weed you out.
You!
Where's the carpet, Smee?
Sorry, sir.
You!
You! That's right, you!
No, not you! Not you.
You.
You!
You bet against me bringing Pan back here, didn't you?
Tell your captain the truth.
Say it. Say it.
I did.
-You made a boo-boo. -I did.
-The Boo Box. -Not the Boo Box!
Boo!
Put me down!
I want my mommy! I want my daddy!
Hello, children.
Comfy? Cozy?
Those are my kids!
Everything's gonna be all right.
It's all right. Daddy's here.
I want those kids out of that net or you better get an attorney.
Who are you?
I'm Peter Banning. I want my children.
Those are your...?
These are your children?
And you're...?
You're Peter?
You're Peter? No!
-You're Peter? -Is there an echo in here? Yes!
My great and worthy opponent?
Who is this impostor?
Peter flogging flying Pan!
I'm not Peter Pan. I am just an ordinary....
I've got a sworn affidavit by a T. Bell.
I've got his medical history. I even got his dental records.
Are you trying to do me out of my job?
May I show you something? Will you let go?
Release him.
-May I show you this? -Will you shut him up.
-Captain, put these on. -I want to see the scar.
The hypertrophy.
Here's where you sliced him during the Tiger Lily incident.
That's my appendix!
What's this?
Faerie footprints. He's Peter Pan or I've got a dead man's dinghy.
Is it you?
My great and worthy opponent?
But it can't be.
Not this pitiful, spineless, pasty, bloated...
...codfish I see before me.
You're not even a shadow of Peter Pan.
You have an obligation to clarify this Pan problem.
This disaster.
-Which must be remedied. -Expediently.
I want my children. The stakes can be no higher.
For me, sir, they could have sunk no lower. And I want my war!
Blow him out of the water!
Daddy's handling this. It's okay.
Pick up your weapon.
How much?
Hoist and raise the kiddies!
I'll make you a deal, Mr. Chairman. Fly up there...
...and touch the fingers of your children, and I'll set them free.
I can't fly.
Explode out of there! Stop this charade! Free your children!
I beg your pardon?
You must be joking.
Peter Pan has a real problem with heights.
I'm not Peter Pan.
It's okay. Hang on, son. I'm coming, sweetheart.
-Somebody give me a hand. -I already have.
Save us, Daddy!
"Save me, Daddy!"
We know who you are! What new game is this, Peter? Fly!
Stop pretending!
Fly! I know it's you!
Be the Pan you are. Fly!
Fly! Think a happy thought.
Just touch our fingers and we'll be able to go home.
Touch them, Peter, and it's all been just a bad dream!
Just reach out and touch them!
Flap your arm and fly!
Reach!
Come on, Daddy. Mommy could do it.
I don't understand. Why doesn't he fly? He's a fop Peter Pan!
He's Peter Pan, all right, captain.
He's been away from Never Land so long, his mind's been gentrified.
He's forgotten everything.
Please don't give up.
I want to go home.
Gentlemen, I'm afraid I have decided to cancel the war.
He can't fly, but he can swim!
Kill them.
Kill them all.
Bring on the plank!
And I never want to hear the name Peter Pan again!
What about the name Hook? Do you want to be remembered as a bully?
Or as the great warrior who defeated a heroic Pan?
One week and I'll get him in shape, and you can have your dirty old war.
It's a trick, captain! Let me blast that buzzing vixen to pixie hell!
You promised people the war of the century.
Your whole life has been building to this. Mortal combat, glory!
Hook versus Pan!
That is not Pan.
Two days.
Four. Bare minimum for a decent Pan.
Three. Final offer.
Done.
And you'd better deliver, Miss Bell...
...or no amount of clapping will bring you back from where I will send you.
Hear me, men.
I've decided that the so-called Pan...
...will return in three days to commence the arbitrament of the sword.
Smee, translate.
In three days we'll have a war.
A battle between good and evil, to the death.
Help me!
Snow!
What...?
What?
Help!
Get me down!
Oh, you're alive!
Oh, get me down!
I believe!
Lost Boys! Lost Boys! Wake up!
Pan's back!
Lost Boys! Lost Boys! Wake up!
That was my pillow!
I'm up.
Wake up, you sleepyheads!
Pan's back! Pan's back! Pan!
Pan!
Who's the shrub?
Bangerang!
That ain't Peter Pan.
He's old.
He's fat!
Not so fat to me.
He's an old, fat grandpa man.
Rufio!
That is so dangerous.
That's enough!
Okay, mister. All right.
The show's over. Put that thing away!
Put it down before you poke somebody's eye out.
You're not old enough to shave. What are you doing with that sword?
This is an insurance nightmare! What's this? Lord of the Flies preschool?
Where are your parents?
Who's in charge here?
No, Mr. Skunkhead-with-too-much-mousse, you're just a punk kid.
I want to speak to a grownup!
All grownups are pirates!
Excuse me?
We kill pirates.
I'm not a pirate.
It so happens I am a lawyer.
Kill the lawyer!
I'm not that kind of lawyer.
I've been shot!
Help!
Help me, somebody!
Boys, listen! He married Wendy's granddaughter!
Hook's kidnapped his kids. He's just out of shape.
We have to make him bangerang!
No, no! Please stop!
Why are you doing this to me?
Rufio, you're the best with a sword. Please teach him.
We gotta make him remember.
Excuse me.
Help me!
Not you!
Oh, my! A wall.
Lost Boys, stop! Stop it!
Play!
Play.
You're dead, jolly man.
He can't do those things. He can't even play simple games.
Hook has got his kids, and I've got three days...
...to get him ready to fight. And I need everybody's help.
Peter Pan's got kids?
He can't fly, fight or crow.
If any of you says this here scug ain't Peter Pan...
...cross the line.
What? I'll be right back.
What?
You are embarrassing me!
Oh, there you are, Peter!
But, Peter...
...you've grown up. You promised never to grow old.
His nose got real big.
Well, welcome back to Never Land, Pan the Man.
Don't listen to that faerie and that brainless fungus!
I got Pan's sword! I'm the Pan now!
You think this guy's gonna take it from me? Rufio?
Wait! If Tink believes, maybe he is.
Are you gonna follow this drooler against Capitan Hook?
What's he doing here if he's not Peter Pan, huh? He don't look happy here.
And who are them kids Hook's got? Give him a chance!
Those are my kids, and Hook's gonna kill them unless we do something.
Help me. Please.
Yeah, come on! Give him a chance!
Well, I should claw myself with my own hook.
Not to kill Pan when I had the chance!
What have I done? What have I done, Smee?
Agreed to a preposterous plan, an absurd war.
Now I'm bound by my indefatigable good form to wait.
-I'll fix you a nice plate. -Wait for what?
Whether it be three days or three decades, he'll always be a fat, old Pan.
I hate being disappointed, Smee. And I hate living in this flawed body!
And I hate living in Never Land!
And I hate, I hate...
...I hate Peter Pan!
Smee? Smee?
I've just had a sublime vision.
All the jagged parts of my life...
...have come together to form a complete and mystical whole.
An epiphany.
A " piphy" what?
My life is over.
You've lost your appetite?
Yes.
Goodbye.
Where're you going? Are you getting dramatic?
Goodbye, Smee.
Captain, why don't we play with your island?
All the little lndians and the soldiers and all the Lost Boys?
Here we go.
No stopping me this time, Smee.
This is it.
Don't make a move, Smee. Not a step.
My finger's on the trigger. Don't try to stop me, Smee.
Oh, not again.
This is it.
Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee.
Don't you dare try to stop me this time, Smee. Try to stop me.
You better get up off your ass. Get over here!
-I'm coming! -Stop me!
This is not a joke! I'm committing suicide!
Don't ever frighten me like that again.
-Sorry. -What are you, a sadist?
I'm sorry. How do you feel now?
-I want to die. -Oh, now, now.
-There's no adventure here. -You call this " no adventure"?
Death is the only great adventure I have left.
Let's get you into bed.
It's all over.
-I'm so tired. -Don't upset yourself, captain.
My career is over.
This was supposed to be the war to end all wars.
-And it will be, captain. -The ultimate war.
There must be a way to get at him, to get even with him...
...to get him where it really would hurt.
There must be something I haven't thought of. Where is he vulnerable?
No more talk about doing away with yourself.
I mean, what would the world be like without Captain Hook?
Indeed. Good form, Smee.
-What would the world be like without me? -There you go.
I'm ready for my nightcap.
Abso-flogging-lutely.
I think a bit of skulduggery would do you good.
Take your mind off this Pan business.
First thing tomorrow morning, we'll shoot some lndians out at Long Tom.
I'm tired of killing lndians and Lost Boys. I always kill them.
I want to kill Peter Pan. I wanna kill him!
Hear me? I want to kill him.
Oh, dear.
I've just had an apostrophe.
I think you mean an "epiphany."
Lightning has just struck my brain.
Well, that must hurt.
-Pan's kids.... -What about them?
You could make them like you.
Say, what?
No, no, no.
We could make the little buggers love you.
No little children love me.
-Captain, that is the point. -What do you mean?
That is the ultimate revenge.
-What is? -Pan's kids in love with Hook.
What're you getting on about?
-It's the ultimate payback. -What is?
Imagine Pan...
...when he faces you, and his kids...
...standing beside you...
...ready to fight for the sleaziest sleaze of the seven seas, Captain Hook.
-Captain, it's beautiful. -Yes, I see.
You know, Smee...
...I like it, I like it, I like it!
Oh, Smee, what a superb idea I've just had!
Tomorrow, I'll make Pan's brats love me.
Peter Pan will fly again. He'll remember how.
And if he doesn't, those dirty Lost Boys will jog his memory.
Oh, yes, you'll see. He'll crow, he'll fight, he'll fly...
...and then, he'll die.
{y:i}Pick 'em up
{y:i}Move 'em down
{y:i}Pick 'em on up
{y:i}Move 'em on down
{y:i}Ain't no time to celebrate
{y:i}You are old and overweight
{y:i}Gotta lose a million pounds
{y:i}Get your fat butt off the ground {y:i}Reach on down and touch your toes
{y:i}How long since you looked at those?
{y:i}Shape up
{y:i}Lose weight
{y:i}Get thin
{y:i}Gotta win
{y:i}Jumping jacks are good for you {y:i}Now your face is turning blue
{y:i}Swing your arms around your back
{y:i}Give yourself a heart attack {y:i}Gotta train
{y:i}In the rain
{y:i}In the sun
{y:i}In the snow
{y:i}Ten below {y:i}Gotta move
{y:i}Gotta do {y:i}Gotta grow
Go easy on me. I'm a beginner.
Low! High! High!
All right, gramps. Give it your best shot.
Rufio's only trying to help. Listen. Learn.
Okay, you ready? I don't wanna hurt you.
Watch your skin!
Be bangerang, old man.
What are you doing? How does this help me get my kids back?
What do I have to do next?
Next, time to fly.
Just think happy thoughts.
All you need is one happy thought, Peter, and it'll make you fly.
I got it!
Not being in this slingshot would make me very happy!
He's going up!
He's coming down!
Now, pay attention, class. We have a lot to go over.
"Lesson one: Why parents hate their children."
Anyone?
Doesn't Mommy read to us every night?
You, the cute little urchin in the front row....
Won't you share your thoughts with the whole class?
Yes.
I said Mommy reads to us every night...
...because she loves us very much.
Loves you? Isn't that....
The "L" word, captain.
No, child.
Your mother reads to you every night in order to stupefy you to sleep...
...so that she and Daddy can sit down for three minutes without you...
...and your mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive demands:
"He took my toy."
"She hid my bear."
"I want to potty. I want a cookie. I want to stay up."
"I want, I want, I want!" "Me, me, me, me!"
"Mine, mine, mine, mine!"
"Now, now, now!"
Can't you understand, child?
-They tell you stories to shut you up. -And conk you out.
That's not true, Jack. You're a liar!
Lie? Me?
Never!
The truth is far too much fun.
Before you were born, your parents would stay up all night together...
...just to see the sunrise.
Don't be frightened.
Maggie, before you were born, they were happier.
They were free.
You are a bad man.
Smee, flunk the maggot.
Abso-flogging-lutely.
An "F"?
He gave me an "F"!
Your father went to your sister's school play, did he not?
But did he go to your baseball game?
How'd you know about that?
He missed the most important game on the most important day...
...of your young life.
-I wanna tear your hook off! -Easy.
I hate, I hate you, Mr. Hook!
What did I tell you, Smee? No little children love me.
Of course they do.
Come on. You're depressing the captain.
Jack, listen to me! Never let him make you forget! Never forget...
...Mommy and Daddy!
Think of a way to run home, Jack! Run home!
Run home?
You are home.
Right?
Oh, yeah.
No, no, no. We don't use them.
-Why do you have them? -So we don't have to use them.
Don't crowd me!
Come on, Thud Butt!
Everybody say grace.
Bless this, Lord--
Grace!
All of my favourite Never Foods!
Yams, mamey apples and banana squash!
Wash it down, calabash and papaw!
Can you blow on this?
Thank you.
This is good!